So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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