New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Terrible idea I love it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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