I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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