is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize