Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
