Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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