After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
