Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
