even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
is wine microwaveable?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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