Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
