never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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