Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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