I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
