absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
