I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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