I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
