The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
