6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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