I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Pants are for mortals
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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