Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My penis needs a shock collar
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Randomize