yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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