she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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