What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
