he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
