I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
