I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
