Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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