i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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