i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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