Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize