i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
