I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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