apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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