I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
