I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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