The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
