you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
