its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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