Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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