After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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