Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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