We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
