Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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