We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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