This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
