have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
