So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
