Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
