hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
