Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have fence marks all over my body
pray to the hookup gods
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
