I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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