I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
