The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you inspire me to be a worse person
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
