i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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