I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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