A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize