he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
handjob tips. give me some.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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