Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize