Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she looked like the before picture.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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