I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
