this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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