Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
