i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
