I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
