What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
