I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize